spacetime continuum

are being dickwads.

they’re like ‘no talking to anybody on the computer for a week’

fuck them. i went two fucking weeks without friends, why should i have to suffer now. it’s this whole ‘easing me back into life’ bullshit.

plus since everybody’s fucking computer’s broken but mine my dad has basically stole it from me and now has to stay in the livingroom.

god, they just piss me off so much. that mental health institution was the worst thing that has ever happened to me.

I spent this whole day trying to draw and everything i drew looked like shit.

Ughh, that bothers me so much. I’ve been gone for nearly two weeks and didn’t get to draw until like, the last two days.

I want to roleplay.

Somebody roleplay with me. ;-;

My step-sister is a useless bitch and right now I wish she would just die.

I know later I’ll probably regret saying that.

I’m just getting so pissed off at the littlest things lately.

I’ve had a medicine change, so I don’t know if that’s it.

I went from Adderal XR in the morning, Celexa and Invega of a night to Seroquel XR of a night, and Zoloft of a morning.

Most of me still wants to take my Adderal, actually, all of me does, and so does my step-sister.

I just don’t know what the fuck’s wrong with me, I just want to beat the shit out of somebody and start cutting again.

I guess my school has me worried since I missed a whole week and my parents are pissing me off with trying to limit my time on the computer, then there’s the fact the nurse at Lakeside lost the two books I brought with me (which were never approved), and they were my step-moms, not mine. She’s not as mad about it as I am though.

Whatever. I just need to calm down, I suppose.

To a place called Lakeside.

Lasted about two weeks, and my life turned into hell.

Well, it started off as a regular doctors appointment to get a blood chem scan, which later revealed that I’ve had mono before (ain’t that great?) but it explained a lot of my sleepiness during the day.

But anyway, I ended up running my mouth and telling my doctor I’d cut myself before and she automatically suggested in-patient treatment. So she called and had somebody from Youth Villages come over and again, I ran my big mouth and told her I was having a lot of suicidal thoughts, so they had me sent off.

So it’s to say it was by far the worst week of my life, and now that I’m back my parents want to seriously cut back my computer time, which pisses me off so fucking bad. It makes me want to show them that the entire two weeks are going to shit because I’m going to fucking go crazy without my laptop.

Oh well, so that’s why I’ve been gone so long. Has anybody missed me?

I did what my therapist told me, which was to go a night at my dads and a night at my moms off of the computer. She said it was my “way of escaping reality” in a way. She also wants me to have a blood chem scan, because she’s worried because I’m not making any improvement. That sorta’ makes me feel like I’m not doing enough.

spideysun:

I thought it said ‘you’d want to meet in prison’

I’ve gotten this wild new theory that all my friends are avoiding me for some reason.

Why does it feel like nobody wants to talk to me?

God, I’m probably just lonely or something.

alexisalicia:

pretty enough, smart enough, skinny enough, tan enough, tall enough, athletic enough, interesting enough, normal enough, funny enough, good enough.